Hey Google, how do I know if I’m a witch? I cautiously type into the search bar. What even is a witch? It feels a bit scary to be considering this possibility.
I am writing this blog post partly for self-exploration, to get it all into print so I can look at it properly, and partly to find the answers that I really already know. The last full moon and lunar eclipse have been pretty intense for me and most everyone else, I think. It feels like everything is coming to a head and very soon, probably at the solar eclipse, something big is going to shift… but what?
For a long time, I have been trying to find a path that combines my skills and passions, where I can be fully me and use all of my knowledge without feeling the need to apologise for being multifaceted.
I am a mother, a reflexologist specialising in women’s health, an aroma reflexologist, a reiki healer, an eco-therapist, a creative, a writer, a gardener, a nature nerd, a home educator, a qualified teacher and more. Ever since I can remember I have held a lot of shame for always wanting to learn more and never really using, in the traditional sense, everything I had already learned.
I do use it, I use it all the time in every part of my life, but I don’t always earn an income from it all, and that’s what’s expected in today’s society, isn’t it? You only learn things and do things if you can make money from them, right? I also know that given the opportunity, I could use all of this knowledge to really help other people more than I already do. But how can I create that opportunity?
Recently I have been very lucky to start teaching at the Mediumship Matters Online Spiritual School, which is a place full of incredible teachers sharing their knowledge and experience of a particular subject in this field.
I watch and I listen in awe as each of these teachers demonstrates how they connect with spirit, or how they read tarot cards or work with animal spirits or understand colour and healing. They are amazing, and these are all things that I LOVED as a child and a teenager, but that have fallen by the wayside as life has taken over.
My own contribution to the school is called Wild Spirit, which is a series of videos that I am still creating, combining eco therapy with spiritual development. It makes the link between the science of nature and our deep inner knowing and connection to it.
But something is jarring me. I know what I am creating is good, and I love it, I even have meditation music written by Michael Jackson’s Keyboard player, who is one of my best friends ever, and the most incredible drone footage filmed by my brother, but it still missing something. It is missing the magical mystical parts of nature and myself that I very rarely share. There are parts of me that I think I have forgotten.
Who even am I?
Over the past few months, I have taken some time to sit with this thought. I have watched some incredible interviews with Anita Moorjani, I have been learning about my connection with spirit, I have listened to the Mediumship Matters Podcast, I’ve been to a mediumship demonstration, I’ve spent some time with my friends, I have a sound bath, I’ve done yoga and breathwork and meditation, and slowly I’ve started remembering who I was before life took over.
I was the Glastonbury Festival going, crystal loving, tarot reading, astrology following hippie teenager. (Yes, I am aware that this may well be a midlife crisis!) And although much has changed since the 90’s, you won’t find me out past 10pm anymore, and I’d rather have a cup of tea than out with a bottle of terrible dry white Martini, that teenager is still rooted in my soul and now she has grown older and wiser, and she has some really deep life lessons to share that could help others.
The more time I have spent pondering this, the more I have looked back on my life so far and thought, ‘why has it taken you so long to consider that you might be a green witch?’
As a very young child I had two dream jobs for when I grew up, one was to be a mermaid and the other was to be a witch. I have since discovered that I cannot breathe underwater.
I always felt most at home out in nature, usually following my birdwatching dad around a woodland somewhere, listening to the birds and looking at the wildlife.
The Worst Witch was my most favourite film ever. I wanted to be Mildred Hubble and I had a box of crystals and a toy cat at my side every time I played witches in my room.
At around 9 or 10 I had an obsession with all things spooky and ghostly. I think I saw a couple of spirits, but it all got a bit too scary for me, so I stopped.
As a teenager I was very drawn to tarot and astrology, I used to do readings for my friends. I still have my original tarot cards from 1994!
Later in my teenage years I bought some beautiful spell books and angel cards, which I also still have. As I write this, I am wondering why this realisation has taken me so long!!
I met my now husband when I was 20, and it was him who set me on the path of growing my own food, herbs and flowers. We even grew the flowers for our wedding day seven years later.
Shortly after that, we moved to our tiny fairytale cottage where we have been raising our family for 15 years. I still grow flowers and vegetables and I have a whole collection of herbs right by the back door. I also have a menagerie of animals who I chat with on a daily basis! I try to raise my children as connected to nature as possible and I definitely encourage them to do the things that they love and enjoy. They all think I’m old and crazy!
On the full moon lunar eclipse, 25th March 2024, after running an incredible retreat with my friends that was full of woo woo and joy, and several instances of people telling me I was “witchy”, I decided to start remembering who I really am. I signed up to a Tarot course with the lovely Tree Carr. I chose to do this for me, no other motivation, it’s just something I have wanted to do since I got those cards in 1994.
Still nothing clicked.
A couple of days later, as I was sat in bed with a cup of tea, a thought sprung into my mind (possibly spirit talking to me, if that’s your belief) and it said, “you ARE a bloody witch!”
My mind flicked through my whole life to this point. I googled “Green Witch”, and it was like reading a description of my life. “She embraces the power of nature; she draws energy from the Earth and the Universe; she relies on natural objects like stones and gems to commune with the land she lives off of; she uses plants, flowers, oils and herbs for healing; she calls on nature for guidance; she respects every living being….” (A. Murphy-Hiscock, 2017, The Green Witch) And on it went.
I am quite scared to publish this, because the term “Witch” has so many scary, negative connotations. But I would like to be very clear here, I am only available for kindness, joy and help, never for anything dark or scary. I am sticking to the following definition where I might just have some helpful knowledge and healing to share that could be beneficial to people in need of it.
“The word “Witch” comes from two Anglo-Saxon words, “Witan" which is related to “wit” as in a Wise Woman or man, and Wicce (originally pronounced “wee-cha” which means “to bend or to turn.”
I have much to learn and explore, which is only a good thing for me, the eternal student! But this is where I find myself at the moment. Who knows what will happen at the solar eclipse on 8th April!? I would love to hear from you if you have a similar experience, please do message me, email me: rewildyoursoul8@gmail.com or comment under this post.
Sarah. X
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